Finding my SINS

How is your Lent going?  We have our Lenten calendar out, the ark in on the prayer table, there are words on the piano as a reminder of where we are in Liturgy, we are trying to complete our 40 Bags for 40 Days...the home is in a period of trying to find SILENCE; to find closeness towards Jesus.

But my own heart is aching. 

I am lost right now on how to deal with a wounded relationship.  There haven't been any words exchanged...no proof of this difference.  But oh how it feels different.  Even down to the eyes.

I am worried about another relationship...the grips of ugliness are strong around a couple of my loved ones.  How am I to help them?  There is so much darkness in their eyes and a struggle within to be and do better.  Their war is so strong though and I'm afraid for them.

 Am I about to lose someone quite special?

There have been too many times that I have not been honest.  Not said what I know in my heart should have been said.  Moments of being on someone's side when there weren't sides to take.  How about being On God's side ALL THE TIME...

I've let things go, I've done things just for the sake of doing them.  But how much heart went into it?  How much did my children see me doing for His glory and not for my own?

How am I to be now?  I carry a bit of pain in my gut...it sits there like a brick.  I hate this brick.  It is bothersome and weighs too much.  At the same time...

There are those moments.  Wonderful moments.  When it all feels right.  When a morning prayer is said and my little one repeats every word because she really wants God to hear her.  When the grace of God is acknowledged in the face of my kids.  When Victor and I dance...oh how I feel loved.  I am so blessed to be loved by him.  I thank God for giving me such blessings. 
When at the end of a long day I can ask "have I done right by you today" and feel the answer, I feel at complete peace.  No, I'm not trying to move mountains.  I am only trying to do right by those I love.  I am trying, for this Lent, to give glory to God through out my day.  Learning to sacrifice myself everyday...in anyway that presents itself and doing it willingly.

It isn't about me!!!!

A really good read:  go here

Mini Vacation

The mini vacation out to Glamis, Ca turned out to be better than I had assumed.  Victor was right...it was a good weekend.  Here are some highlights:

Waiting to ride..these two wouldn't get off these bikes...

Older Girl made a new friend and found a new thrill to go along...

Only Boy found a thrill in riding and we saw a grin from ear to ear all weekend long...

Pondering

"Wisdom enters through love, silence, and mortification. It is great wisdom to know how to be silent and to look at neither the remarks, nor the deeds, nor the lives of others."
~ St. John of the Cross

If anyone be devout and love God,
Let him commence this radiant fast with joy!
If anyone be a wise servant,
Let him, rejoicing, enter into the school of repentance.

We who have wallowed long in sin,
Let us now begin our return.
If anyone has strayed from the first hour,
Let him today repent with zeal.
If anyone has sinned from the third hour,
Let him with gratitude embrace the fast.
If anyone has fled God from the sixth hour,
Let him have no misgivings about his prompt return;
Because he shall in nowise be turned away therefore.
If anyone has indulged the flesh since the ninth hour,
Let him draw near, fearing God alone and trusting in His mercy.
And if anyone has turned away only at the eleventh hour,
Let him also not hesitate to turn back with haste.

For the Lord, who is longsuffering and full of compassion and mercy, will accept the last even as the first.
He restores him who repents at the first hour,
As He does him who turns back at the eleventh.
And He shows mercy upon the last,
And cares for the first;
And to the one He gives,
And upon the other He bestows gifts.
And He both accepts the confession,
And welcomes the intention,
And honors the contrite heart and rejoices in the return.

Wherefore, enter all of you into the holiness of your Lord;
Offer your repentance,
Both the last, and likewise the first.
You rich and poor together, repent, for today we stand outside the closed gates of paradise.
You sober and you heedless, prostrate yourselves before your King!
Return to the Lord today, both you who have sinned with knowledge and those who have done so in ignorance.

Your pantries are full; empty them to the hungry.
The belly enslaves us, let no one be dominated thereby.
Enter all of you into the Great Fast;
Stripped of heavenly wealth by sin, all draw near to God’s rich loving-kindness!
Let no one despair in his sinfulness,
For the Bridegroom comes at midnight.
Weep all of you for your iniquities,
And draw near to the life-giving Cross of our Lord.
Let no one put confidence in the flesh,
For the Devil has deceived us all thereby, and therewith enslaves us to sin.

By turning from God, we are made captives.
We have called good evil and evil good, and put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter.
And Isaiah, foretelling this, did cry:
Woe to those who put darkness for light, and light for darkness!

We are embittered, for we are banned from Eden.
We are embittered, but it is we who have mocked God.
We are embittered, for now we shall surely die.
We are embittered, for we have succumbed to the serpent.
We are embittered, for we are fettered in chains.
We partook of a fruit, and met the deceiver.
We were entrusted with paradise, but we chose Hell.
Our eyes were opened to see the nakedness of sin.

Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver us!
O Lord, make haste to help us!

This is the acceptable time, let us repent!
This is the day of salvation, let us crucify the passions!
The end is at hand and destruction hangs over us!
The end draws nigh, let us come again to our senses!
The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand, what first-fruit shall we offer?
Let us delay not, lest we remain dead in the grave, sold under sin!
For God desires not the death of the sinner, but that he should turn from his wickedness and live!
So, let us choose life, and live, for the mercy of God endures forever!
To Him be glory and dominion
Unto ages of ages. Amen.

Sermon written by Fr. John Parker,  of Holy Ascenstion Orthodox Church

Silence

I am taking a bit of a break from all computer work that isn't directly related to school.  I'll be popping in here and there to add a thought, or two.

*update:  I have been on more than I thought I would be.  But it ended up feeling like the thing to do.  My silence for this Lent has been odd.  Not what I thought it would be like but, when is Lent EVER like you assume it would be.

Weekly Menu ~

Because of the short week for us I won't be doing a weekly menu.  Instead I'm going to make up for some of the recipes I didn't get to because of the funeral.  The one thing I will plan for is Super Bowl Sundays meal.  Cuz, this gal will enjoy an afternoon of good eats and perhaps a drink to go along with it.

Sunday Super Bowl ~

• Jalepeno Bacon Wraps
• Carnitas (with all the fixins': tortillas, salsa, avocadoes & lemon)
• Ensalada de Nopales
• Mexican Layer Dip
• Stuffed Mushrooms (would be nice but may not go with the rest of the menu)

*UPDATE:  I didn't make the stuffed Mushrooms but I did everything else.  The salsa recipe noted above needed more jalepenos then suggested and I added some serrano chilies too.  We like our salsa "hot".  Otherwise it was good.  It was especially good over my over easy eggs the following morning...YUM!

40 Days of Lent ~

Lent is quickly approaching and with it comes a time of focus.  Where am I in my walk with God, how well do I achieve His will of me each day?  I came across  this very article last year and wanted to put it into my own family but, didn't.  I don't remember why.  Maybe I found the article late into Lent. 

But, this year I am ready and so willing to declutter once again.  This time with more of a focus and allow be to led by prayer and sacrifice.  The closets and rooms get a whimpy sort of decluttering every few months.  Some months yield large amounts of "stuff" while at other times there are barely two bags full.  Yet, I can look into the garage and be blown back at the scene of "stuff" that keeps us from using our garage.

Jessica, at Shower of Roses, posted a reminder and invitation to join in the "40 Bags in 40 Days".  The family will get involved and participate willingly (I hope) and together we can enter into the Easter season with simple and decluttered hearts.

Valentine's Day

Where is my dear husband taking his wife for Valentine's Day you ask?

Why here....

To do a bit of this...

Doesn't it look romantic...

A girl and her horse

This was a dream of Older Girl for a very long time.  And the pictures show it....

This was her first day...

Doesn't she look beautiful...

Little Flowers Meeting ~ Faith

We had a lovely meeting today at Kristi's today.  Since it was raining we stayed inside but luckily there was enough room for all the groups.  It was loud energetic at times but very sweet.  Here is the recap of the meeting:

~ Meeting ~

We started with our opening prayers and an introduction to the newest member of our group.  Then we began with reading the story of St. Agnes and the meaning of this months virtue.  The girls listened intentively to the tales of Little Nellie of the Sweet Child Jesus and how each of them carries their faith in their hearts.

~ Craft ~

I got this craft from the Little Flowers official activity book.  It came out very cute.  First, the girls painted their clothespins yellow and then added their sunflower and magnets.  Veronique printed out a beautiful prayer to St. Agnes for the clothespins to hold.  It was a cute craft.

~ Snack Time ~

Yummy sunflower cupcakes, inspired by Jessica

 

~ Littlest Flowers ~

St. Agnes pray for us!

~ Please help us all to grow in faith ~

My Daybook

Outside my window...It's a beautiful day in California.  One of those that people from the midwest could use.

I am hearing...a mixture of kids on a scooter zooming around, little voices from a video playing for Princess, and the music from my blog singin to me.

I am thankful...for a very good friend and time spent with her.  I picked up Yesi from the airport and we immediately drove to be at our "commardes" side as she grieves the lost of her mother.

I am praying for...a family in grief, for my Victor (who is taking a very important test today), for my SIL, for several of my siblings....so many to pray for!

From the kitchen...pizza in the oven for lunch...we've had to make some changes to our menu for this week..but I want to bake the St. brigid's bread.

From the learning room...lots of lessons but nothing new.  We are deep in H week with Rosa, trying to leave Pennsylvania, and fighting along with the Romans.

Living the Liturgical Year in our Home...today we eat with St. Brigid, tomorrow we attend Mass for Candlemass and enjoy some St. Blaise cookies.  Lots of books of Moses, Exodus, and the parables of Jesus.

I am creating...tax papers!!

I am wearing...jeans, white long sleeve and my "B16" t-shirt along with my trusty "chucks".

I am going...to serve some pizza in about 5 minutes and later take Rosa to ballet and then the library.

Pondering these words...

“For me, each day came forth from the hand of God newly created and alive with opportunities to do His will. For me, each day was a series of moments and incidents to be offered back to God, to be consecrated and returned in total dedication to His will.”

-- From the memoir He Leadeth Me by Father Walter J. Ciszek

I am hoping...for good news from both Victor, my youngest brother and sister...still praying!!

Around the house...lots of proof that we are a home schooling family...

One of my favorite things...a husband who surrenders, God's mercy, and old friends.

A few plans for this week...a rosary, a funeral....

A picture to share....

A girl and her horse

Pondering

There are some that are so trusting in handing over their lives to God's hands.  They may question and perhaps doubt from time to time but..wow...look what can be accomplished when we let go.  When ever Katie writes I want to link it to here.  I'd like to be reminded that people do live like her...some in small ways while others in large (each important, each are needed, each are examples of living like Jesus).

Here is Katie Davis' journey.

For Later

Ran across a picture of something that my taste buds and stomach are desiring very much.  They are called bacon-wrapped jalepeno thingies.  Great name, really.  So I 'am planning ahead' for Super Bowl Sunday's menu.  These are sure to be a hit with Victor.  Yup...he's going to love me....than later... perhaps not love me so much...hee hee hee.

Weekly Menu~

I'm trying out doing a menu plan on blog.  I love to menu plan but lately I do more planning than actual cooking.  Kinda defeats the propose really.  Anyway, I'm hoping this will be an easier way to keep track...I plan what I want to make and then look at what I can make by using up the pantry items.  I try to buy fresh but I don't have the energy,patience time to grocery shop every week.  I like the twice a month visit to the grocery stores...so does our bank account.  Thus, the need to menu plan and shop wisely.

Menu Plan 

1/30 - 2/5

Saturday ~

breakfast: 

• jalepeno and mushroom omellete w/ cottage cheese on the side (for Victor & I)
• Mushroom and cheese omelletes for the kids
• bacon 

Lunch/Dinner:

•  Rick's Chili
• Honey Corn Bread

Sunday ~

breakfast/brunch:  

• Baked French Toast Cups
• bacon or sausage
• yogurt w/ fresh fruit and granola
• cafe Latte 

dinner:  For the Feast of St. John Bosco

• Skillet Lasagna (or a premade one if I get pressed for time)
• Salad w/ this "out of this world salad dressing"
• Tiramisu for dessert

Monday ~

Lunch:   Chicken & Tomatoe Quesadillas

Dinner:  Leftovers (I'm sure there will be plenty)

Tuesday ~

Feast of the Presenatation/Candlemass

Breakfast/Lunch:  Candlemas Crepes
Dinner: 

• Beef Tacos,
• Rice
• better than anything cake

Wednesday ~
* update: rosary tonight
Today's planned meals will be bumped to next week...this will be a sad evening...
Lunch:  Sandwiches and chips
Dinner: 

• Slow Cooker Chicken Cacciatore
•  garlic mashed potatoes

Thursday ~
* update: Funeral today
Lunch:   Bean burritos
Dinner:  Leftovers

 

Friday ~
Feast of St. Agatha
Lunch:  Little Flowers Today...so a quick bite will be in order

• St. Agatha Rolls to take to the group
• Sunflower cupcakes for 9 eager little girls

Dinner:

• Chipotle Shrimp Tacos 

Praying

A dear friend, Yvettes mother passed away Monday night.  I am praying for the hurt that is left behind.  Yvette has and is the families strength right now.  She has been left to make the arrangements and plan for her mother's organs.  I can't even imagine what this is like for her.  I am praying for the families strength, for Our Lady to hold each of them, for His grace to be upon them.